Self-Care in the Middle of It All (Even When You Don’t Feel Like It)

Lately, self-care feels like another task on my never-ending to-do list—except somehow, it never reaches the top. If you feel this way too, you are not alone.

For many of us—especially women, mothers, caregivers, and the ones other people tend to lean on—it’s normal to prioritize everyone else’s needs over our own. Saying  “I’m fine” or “don’t worry about me” become automatic. While these words may come from good intentions, neglecting our own needs can silently take a generous toll, especially when navigating deep grief or daily overwhelm.

The term “self-care” often brings to mind spa days, bubble baths, and face masks. While these can be comforting, true self-care goes deeper. It’s quiet, sometimes messy, and often challenging—especially when your heart feels heavy, and your mind is clouded by stress or sadness.

When grieving, whether due to the loss of a loved one, the life you envisioned, or a prolonged difficult season, self-care isn’t just beneficial—it’s essential. Grief greatly affects our bodies, impacting our energy levels, immune systems, digestion, and sleep patterns. Without meaningful self-care routines, grief can linger unnoticed until we’re physically and emotionally depleted, making recovery that much harder.

Mental health care during grief or stress involves allowing yourself to experience emotions fully—like letting the tears flow without shame. It might mean reaching out for support, setting boundaries by saying “no” to additional responsibilities, or nourishing your body even if your appetite has faded. Self-care could look like putting your phone away and getting outdoors, journaling for a few minutes, or intentionally doing nothing—and feeling absolutely no guilt about it!!

Remember, self-care is not selfish; it’s an act of reconnecting with yourself. It’s about acknowledging your presence and worth, even when life feels broken or unclear. It provides the grace necessary to heal, breathe, and continue moving forward.

If you find yourself in a season where self-care feels far reaching, start small. Commit to one simple act of kindness towards yourself today—a brief pause, a deep breath, just a moment to show up for you.

Your well-being matters too.

P.S. I’ll be revisiting these words myself, as I often find it easier to help others than to prioritize my own self-care. Remember, we’re all human, learning and growing together.